Running A Race

I don't know

2012-01-04T19:48:00.000-08:00

Spent most of my life here.

most of which with dreams to leave.

to find somewhere else to study.

somewhere more liberal

somewhere less... in a word... imbecilic.

Singapore.

Home of dreams.

Home of deception.

They say Singapore's the yes place to be living in.

I don't believe that.

They can fill me with all those lies.

But in the end, my blood doesn't agree with them.

I don't want to belong to a country that's retarded.

LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.

i'm most probably going to an overseas university.

i'm most probably NOT going to stay in this country.

based on personal preference.

NOW, i need to enter the army.

whose pay is crap. probably $400 a month.

if i were to study overseas, and live overseas.

this country would call me back, yearly.

for 20 years.

they're likely not to pay for my flight.

GSY.

so... flight ticket is say 1.2K ?

for the reserve i'll earn $400 ??

i'd make a loss of $800 yearly...

which amounts to $4k.

not much... but still. if i didn't have to return to this stupid country, i'd be earning slightly more than what they pay... so why should i "protect my country" ?

why should i call this "my" country in the first place ?

i never liked their education system.

i never liked their government.

"oh we're a democratic country..."

oh please... you're as democratic as a squirrel is to a nut.

ELITISM. *cough*

and i never liked the fact that the army is compulsory.

Better safe than Army.

why not do the same thing Venice did ?

get mercenaries.

we're gonna lose in any war anyways.

for all i know, once our defense systems are bled dry.

we've lost the war.

Better safe than Army.

if all the world breaks down the continental barriers.

breaks down the army.

with no ministry of offense and defense.

we'd be in the safest of places.

but NO.

that's not what reality presents.

i'm against war of any form.

but if i dislike you and your laws. you know i won't pick your side to fight on.

Long live Singapore.

Long live "freedom".

Long live "democracy".

Hunt Down

2011-11-29T10:45:00.000-08:00

It's called the Hunt Down.

I regret losing contact with my primary school friends.

wherever they may be now.

Kenny. Kimberly.

huh... they're the two oldest ones i remember...

tis called the Hunt Down cuz i'm trying to find them using Social Networking sites.

this is day 1.

and it has been unsuccessful cuz i don't even recall their last names.

neither does the Primary school keep records of Primary one kids of the 1999 batch...

oh well....

2011-11-15T08:58:00.001-08:00

i feel sad :(

depression.

2011-11-15T06:22:00.000-08:00

Uh...

well, i suppose you know something's not right when

you feel like giving up...

took out my chemistry work today.

thinking, okay last few papers.

gotta make them count.

looked at it...

then started staring at it...

and then just this pang of sadness.

okay... i doubt i have depression.

hopefully i don't.

and it's more logical that its cuz of chemistry that triggered it.

but...

i don't see how i can make it for chemistry :(

Well... God,

i know it's too much to ask.

well, for you it'd be just enough to ask...

to help me pass Chemistry...

with how little i'm prepared for it :X

and well...

you know my worries and fears.

you know my daily concerns and needs.

you even take time for me.

Be with me everyday of my life.

for your plans should be greater than mine.

Be with my friends.

to show them your love and light.

to heal the broken.

to heal the soul.

and as i'm typing this out

with half of my heart

given up.

half of my heart

depressed.

my mind is on you.

and on a friend

with depression.

I commit everything unto you.

sunset shot

2011-11-10T05:14:00.001-08:00

"this is the time where the hero makes his new journey.

seemingly never to return again as he saves other people.

and makes a dramatic farewell."

"so basically this is the ending sunset shot of the movie?"

"*sigh* yes. it is."

in the future

2011-11-08T05:40:00.001-08:00

In the future then.

but now... i rather be alone.

word

2011-11-08T04:46:00.000-08:00

books.

multitudes of them devoted to fantasy and self-help.

self-growth.

but so seldom do i read a book that helps you stand up

and right the wrongs in one's life.

to help you stand while being a sinner.

Better than i

2011-11-08T04:36:00.001-08:00

I thought I did what's right
I thought I had the answers
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here
So I put up a fight
And told you how to help me
Now just when I have given up
The truth is coming clear

Chorus 1:
You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing
I don't know is part of getting through
I tried to do what's best
But faith has made it easy
To see the best thing i can do
Is to put my trust in You.

Chorus 2
For, You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

Bridge:
I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was You who taught that bird to fly
If i let You reach me
Will You teach me.
(Repeat Chorus )

For, You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
I'll take what answers you supply
You know better than I

Closer

2011-11-08T04:26:00.000-08:00

I'm so not gonna let anyone close to me.

figured.

Difficult

2011-11-05T09:03:00.000-07:00

I find it difficult.

to say so.

maybe in time.

but not right now.

song

2011-10-30T09:30:00.001-07:00

2011-10-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

Yup.

I'm glad to know a friend like you :)

Still searching

2011-10-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

Still searching for myself.

He knows me, ironically i don't know me.

Deserves.

2011-10-30T09:04:00.000-07:00

song

2011-10-28T05:38:00.000-07:00

Gotta fight another fight
I gotta run another night
Get it out, check it out
I´m on my way
and it don´t feel right
I gotta get me back
I cant be beat
and thats a fact
It´s okay, I´ll find a way
Ain´t gonna take me down, no way
No, oh, oh, oh

Yeah, don´t judge a thing
till you know whats inside it
Don´t push me, I´ll fight it
Never gonna give in,
never gonna give it up, no
No, oh, oh, oh
If you can´t catch a wave then
you´re never gonna ride it
You can´t come uninvited
Never gonna give in,
never gonna give it up, no
You can´t take me, I´m free

Why did it all go wrong?
I wan´t to know whats going on
What´s this holding me?
I´m not where I´m supposed to be
I gotta fight another fight
I gotta fight with all my might
I´m getting out, so check it out
You´re in my way, yeah,
you better watch out...

Come on! Don´t judge a thing
till you know whats inside it
Don´t push me, i´ll fight it
Never gonna give in,
never gonna give it up, no
No, oh, oh, oh
If you can´t catch a wave
then you´re never gonna ride it
You can´t come uninvited
Never gonna give in,
never gonna give it up, no
You can´t take me, I´m free
I´m free

Song

2011-10-28T05:26:00.000-07:00

Here I am, this is me
There's nowhere else on Earth I'd rather be
Here I am, it's just me and you
Tonight we make our dreams come true

It's a new world, it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts
It's a new day, it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you

Here I am
Here I am

Here we are, we've just begun
And after all this time, our time has come
Yeah, here we are, still goin' strong
Right here in the place where we belong

It's a new world, it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts
It's a new day, it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you

Here I am
Yeah, here I am
Here I am
Yeah
Waiting for you

Here I am, this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am, it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true

Oh, it's a new world, it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts
It's a new day, it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you

Oh, it's a new world, it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts
It's a new day, it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you

Here I am
Here I am

Here I am, next to you
And suddenly the world is all brand new
Here I am, here I am, where I'm gonna stay
Now there's nothin' standin' in our way

Oh, here I am
Here I am
This is me

sigh

2011-10-27T08:40:00.000-07:00

going to bed with a sigh...

i'd rather not talk about it.

advice i receive usually ends up

being the same advice i give myself.

i totally understand the misunderstood.

song

2011-10-25T01:15:00.001-07:00

i wanna be part of this one day. something like this.

Positive

2011-10-19T06:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i feel it's easier alone...

i just need a bit more positive aura around...

it's just tiring to be around negative people...

life wasn't meant to be like that.

life was meant to be embraced.

filled with joys and sorrows.

filled with dreams and visions.

not with disdain and distrust.

not with claiming things are impossible.

there's a reason we have imagination.

if we don't embrace it, then

who are we to call ourselves creations.

who are we to be humans, who managed to do everything around us

BECAUSE of imagination and dreams and visions.

Meditate

2011-10-17T04:42:00.000-07:00

Meditation. on his word.

just reading and absorbing its meaning. slowly.

i can't wait for next month to be done.

not that i want a temporal spiritual high.

but i want time thats not spent studying.

OUT LOUD.

2011-10-16T00:29:00.000-07:00

OUT LOUD.

I know its my imagination.

i know its not coming true.

but i write it anyways.

I'm Still Here.

2011-10-11T11:06:00.001-07:00

imagine.

miss

2011-10-10T07:46:00.000-07:00

i wanna play games !

i wanna slack.

i wanna hang out with friends.

i'm waiting for christmas to come.

i'm waiting for Church camp.

i'm waiting for so many other things.

but now. back to books.

sticks and stones, i never really got that meaning.... huh.

Well. this is awkward.

2011-10-10T07:37:00.001-07:00

Well... This is awkward.

2011-10-09T05:22:00.001-07:00

Forgiveness

2011-10-07T08:23:00.000-07:00

I was told that if you want a clear mind.

You have to Forgive.

you may not be able to forget.

but everything gets better with forgiveness.

i was wrong to hurt you.

i don't deserve to even be your friend again.

all i ask is forgiveness.

in hopes that we will be in the future.

2011-09-29T08:26:00.001-07:00

http://youtu.be/bb1DTsxBOfE

2011-09-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

i'm Selfish & Prideful.

it takes time for me to change.

i just hope you have it in you to forgive and forget.

Jesus kept no record of our wrongs once we accepted him as saviour and friend.

i hope my mistakes don't affect the way you see my Jesus.

2011-09-29T08:08:00.000-07:00

foolish i was.

acted beyond what i understood.

lesson learnt the hard way.

no point rushing. just let time pass.

2011-09-29T07:43:00.001-07:00

...I am not ready to meet you yet. Because I am still not the ‘best’ that God had intended me to be. So patient, I shall be. For God to continue doing His beautiful works in me & in you too. I wanna honor you completely, with the way I live my life. Till I meet you, & till God gives us His blessings, I will never give my heart to any other. Nor will I expose or place my heart at a vulnerable position for temptation to lead me. I will be cautious. I will be prayerful. I will be diligent in guarding my heart and purity.

2011-09-29T07:35:00.001-07:00

God heal the hearts that are broken.

heal the hurts that scars one.

be the peace for the people you love.

2011-09-29T01:28:00.000-07:00

i feel like i need months of me time.

months of God time.

and the commitments i've made this year,

i feel i need to pause.

i feel like i need to.

but as i do this, i consider our promises.

i consider everyone.

just God and Me.

Jesus and I.

and his church.

i guess thats where i long to be.

2011-09-29T01:19:00.000-07:00

i guess i still ask.

did i make the right choices ?

struggle powerfully.

2011-09-28T00:04:00.000-07:00

Struggle powerfully.

struggle cuz its hard.

powerfully cuz i know God is with me.

his promises there for me.

nothing is impossible with God with me.

i trust you God. i'll do my best.

anger.

2011-09-27T05:27:00.000-07:00

i guess words hurt.

they hurt even more when the party receiving it doesn't know you don't mean it.

what happened that would make me wanna say this ?

"in your anger, do not sin."

guess that's what Jesus told me today.

but with all pride i couldn't (more like didnt want to) apologize.

form teacher came up to me,

asked me "why didn't you go for German Prelims?"

"i was sick on those days, had migraine and MC"

"i would have still gone and taken the exam, what happened if you were sick for A levels?"

then i snapped.

probably shouldn't have...

BUT I HATE SCHOOL !

I HATE STUDYING.

I HATE THIS BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE !!!!

i snapped.

"I COULDN'T THINK STRAIGHT. YOU DON'T EXPECT ME TO GO THERE AND FLUNK JUST CUZ I COULDN'T THINK RIGHT ? GOSH !"

so that's how it happened. what happened afterward, well, i ignored her.

"in your anger, do not sin"

uh God. i already did.

and worse.

i was too full of pride to apologize.

i still don't want to.

they are forced to care for me, no matter how much they try to show it.

they care more about the results that i can produce so they look good.

not because it's genuine.

HECK it's everything but Genuine.

i'm so tired.

i'm so sick of this.

i need you God.

i need you.

i need to work hard too...

it's hard God.

i just don't want to....

i just can't get up and get to it.

at times like this i just wish you'd make me smart.

at times like this, i wish you weren't faithful and got me out of here.

at times like this, i want a miracle.

but you can't send the rain unless i prepare the field.

who said it was easy right ?

but who said that the worker did it tiredly ?

who said the worker did it unwillingly ?

i want to do well...

but i don't desire it as much as i desire to be well rested.

to do what is worth doing.

to do what makes life worth living.

to do what brings happiness. joy.

i just don't desire it as much.

i just want it to be over.

i don't mind being full time in church.

admin.

vocalist.

servant.

even if it costs me everything.

yup.

everything.

haha... shit, i sound like some super churchy dude...

"i'd rather be a doorman to God's Kingdom than anywhere further than that"

but i guess then whats the point of life ?

what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger right ?

fragile. that's what we are.

“There are so many fragile things, after all. People break so easily, and so do dreams and hearts.”
― Neil Gaiman, Fragile Things

Dom's Death

2011-09-22T10:12:00.001-07:00

music makes a difference in the atmosphere.

2011-09-14T07:27:00.001-07:00

2011-09-13T06:06:00.001-07:00

Alfred Tennyson, Lord Tennyson

Maud

COME into the garden, Maud,
For the black bat, Night, has flown,
Come into the garden, Maud,
I am here at the gate alone;
And the woodbine spices are wafted abroad,
And the musk of the roses blown.

For a breeze of morning moves,
And the planet of Love is on high,
Beginning to faint in the light that she loves
On a bed of daffodil sky,
To faint in the light of the sun she loves,
To faint in his light, and to die.

All night have the roses heard
The flute, violin, bassoon;
All night has the casement jessamine stirr'd
To the dancers dancing in tune;
Till a silence fell with the waking bird,
And a hush with the setting moon.

I said to the lily, 'There is but one
With whom she has heart to be gay.
When will the dancers leave her alone?
She is weary of dance and play.'
Now half to the setting moon are gone,
And half to the rising day;
Low on the sand and loud on the stone
The last wheel echoes away.

I said to the rose, 'The brief night goes
In babble and revel and wine.
O young lord-lover, what sighs are those
For one that will never be thine?
But mine, but mine,' so I sware to the rose,
'For ever and ever, mine.'

And the soul of the rose went into my blood,
As the music clash'd in the hall;
And long by the garden lake I stood,
For I heard your rivulet fall
From the lake to the meadow and on to the wood,
Our wood, that is dearer than all;

From the meadow your walks have left so sweet
That whenever a March-wind sighs
He sets the jewel-print of your feet
In violets blue as your eyes,
To the woody hollows in which we meet
And the valleys of Paradise.

The slender acacia would not shake
One long milk-bloom on the tree;
The white lake-blossom fell into the lake,
As the pimpernel dozed on the lea;
But the rose was awake all night for your sake,
Knowing your promise to me;
The lilies and roses were all awake,
They sigh'd for the dawn and thee.

Queen rose of the rosebud garden of girls,
Come hither, the dances are done,
In gloss of satin and glimmer of pearls,
Queen lily and rose in one;
Shine out, little head, sunning over with curls.
To the flowers, and be their sun.

There has fallen a splendid tear
From the passion-flower at the gate.
She is coming, my dove, my dear;
She is coming, my life, my fate;
The red rose cries, 'She is near, she is near;'
And the white rose weeps, 'She is late;'
The larkspur listens, 'I hear, I hear;'
And the lily whispers, 'I wait.'

She is coming, my own, my sweet;
Were it ever so airy a tread,
My heart would hear her and beat,
Were it earth in an earthy bed;
My dust would hear her and beat,
Had I lain for a century dead;
Would start and tremble under her feet,
And blossom in purple and red.

2011-09-11T20:54:00.000-07:00

God. i've disobeyed.

2011-09-11T08:41:00.000-07:00

God.

no.

i can't. i'm not cut out.

and even as i type these words at the back of my head you're telling me.

"yes, you can. exactly why you're not cut out, is why i've chosen you"

man... God....

my pride is getting the better of me too.

the thought of not wanting to go to my teachers for help.

just because they're REALLY annoying.

just because they'll freaking scream at you.

thus you don't exactly wanna confront them.

i mean, if they were more approachable,

then heck even i would go to them.

BUT THEY AREN'T...

and me, being me.

am firm on not going up to them for help.

am firm on trying to do it with those who offer their help.

or in most cases, trying to do it on my own.

and then there's not just pride.

there's also plain laziness.

sloth.

i really don't wanna be doing this.

i don't enjoy it.

and it takes the joy out of everything.

it feels so much like suffering and pain.

so much like worthless living and inability.

it feels so much like i'm not putting a smile on your face.

and now my heart is heavy.

my longing clear.

my motivation weak.

my end goal a blur.

Proverbs 25:20

²⁰ Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day,

or like vinegar poured on a wound,
is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.

and again i struggle.
the struggle of many.
the struggle since the start.
to find no gain in what i do.
but to find the struggle to give my best.
to have excellence displayed.
and to find me failing yet again.
and again.
to put a smile on your face.
to live for the audience of one.
to honor authorities you've placed in my life.
to honor commitments made.
and at the same time
to have that joy and peace you provide in obedience.

2011-09-11T05:28:00.000-07:00

My WANTS List :D

haha i guess :D

Nerf. Longstrike.

Nerf. Longshot.

Nerf. Maverick.

the bow is not needed :P

http://sgnerf.blogspot.com/2008_12_01_archive.html

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dartboard/3548874461/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/28802274@N00/2374305198/

Redeemer - Planetshakers

2011-09-08T19:32:00.000-07:00

Redeemer - Planetshakers

My Jesus is better
Than anything in this world
He loves me, I love Him
So I give Him everything

He gave His life for me

My Saviour
Is living in me
Redeemer
JESUS He set me free

He's living in my heart
He gave me a new start
I asked Him, He came in
And washed away all my sin

He gave His life for me
He died to set me free

If You can use anything
Won't You use me
Take me and break me and
Mould me and make me
You died for me
So I'm living for You
I'm living for You
I'm living for You

Whoa!
Jesus He set me free

Escapist.

2011-09-06T23:36:00.000-07:00

i guess i have the tendency of escapism.

i really feel like running away from a problem...

not deal with it if i don't like it.

the problem with that is

1. it won't disappear.

2. God makes it bearable.

but it just takes so much out of you...

math frustrates me.

hours on a freaking question.

and no work gets done.

no matter how much effort you put in.

it just seems hopeless.

it just seems like your results won't come.

won't turn out the way you want it to.

won't give it to you, the way that seems best.

and in the end ?

what am i living for ?

cuz it sure doesn't feel like i'm doing it for God.

it sure doesn't feel like i'm doing it for myself.

it sure doesn't feel like i'm going to do well.

it sure doesn't feel like i'm going anywhere.

heck... anywhere seems like a better place than here.

my escapist mentality kicks in.

i wanna run.

i don't wanna do something i know i suck at.

i don't wanna stay here where i can't be happy.

or i can be happy, but the cost is my future.

happiness is a choice. joyfulness is a choice.

but its so hard to put them together with work that sucks the life out of you.

work that i never seem to be able to see results to.

at this point.

God.

seriously ?

you faithfulness in my life is so good, so awesome.

yet sometimes annoying...

never early. never late.

in your time.

just in time for us.

if we honor you, you'll honor us.

but couldn't i enjoy myself throughout this journey ?

its so draining.

and thus its not enjoyable.

to be running on empty.

if you can use anything,

won't you use me ?

Till I See You

2011-09-06T19:39:00.000-07:00

Till I See You.

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And 'til I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home, I'll trust in You

With all I am I live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray you'd let Your will be done
And 'til I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home, I'll trust in You

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

You are the voice that called the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And 'til I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home, I'll trust in You

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy, Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name

2011-09-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

Choices

2011-08-30T05:50:00.001-07:00

Choices....

Win or Lose. Praise God.

Happy or Sad. Love God.

2011-08-22T01:25:00.001-07:00

Waldeinsamkeit

I do not count the hours I spend
In wandering by the sea;
The forest is my loyal friend,
Like God it useth me.

In plains that room for shadows make
Of skirting hills to lie,
Bound in by streams which give and take
Their colors from the sky;

Or on the mountain-crest sublime,
Or down the oaken glade,
O what have I to do with time?
For this the day was made.

Cities of mortals woe-begone
Fantastic care derides,
But in the serious landscape lone
Stern benefit abides.

Sheen will tarnish, honey cloy,
And merry is only a mask of sad,
But, sober on a fund of joy,
The woods at heart are glad.

There the great Planter plants
Of fruitful worlds the grain,
And with a million spells enchants
The souls that walk in pain.

Still on the seeds of all he made
The rose of beauty burns;
Through times that wear and forms that fade,
Immortal youth returns.

The black ducks mounting from the lake,
The pigeon in the pines,
The bittern's boom, a desert make
Which no false art refines.

Down in yon watery nook,
Where bearded mists divide,
The gray old gods whom Chaos knew,
The sires of Nature, hide.

Aloft, in secret veins of air,
Blows the sweet breath of song,
O, few to scale those uplands dare,
Though they to all belong!

See thou bring not to field or stone
The fancies found in books;
Leave authors' eyes, and fetch your own,
To brave the landscape's looks.

Oblivion here thy wisdom is,
Thy thrift, the sleep of cares;
For a proud idleness like this
Crowns all thy mean affairs.

by Ralph Waldo Emerson

2011-08-15T00:43:00.000-07:00

http://the-hope-movement.tumblr.com/post/5812664205

http://the-hope-movement.tumblr.com/post/4315089262

Point of difference.

2011-07-25T05:18:00.000-07:00

Point of difference..

i guess thats where i am now...

everything's piling up.

i guess that's what triggered me missing all of them...

they were there with me...

i miss them !

gosh...

feels like i've been giving my all, but not seeing the fruits...

God, you promised...

haha... i'm probably at the point of breaking down...

God i'm stupid...

okay BREATHE !!

enough ranting... time to get started...

as much as you hate it...

i'm gonna go through with it with you God...

i'm gonna need lots of your mercy and grace...

i'm gonna need lots of your strength and faith...

i'm gonna need lots of you with me...

ARGHH ! GOD... i need you !!!

You pulled me through JC1,

You can help me through JC2 !!

i need you...

"never will i leave you, never will i forsake you"

God you promised.

you're the reason i'm still here...

you're the reason i'm not gonna break down and give in...

all i ask is that you give me wisdom and that little amount of help...

I don't want to do badly and be asked by my mom to retake...

i dislike studying and you know that...

as i give to you... help me in that little area in my life...

In Jesus name,

AMEN.

song

2011-07-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

I just wanna let you know God loves you and wants to have a relationship with you.

Psalm 60:12

New International Version (NIV)

¹² With God we will gain the victory,
and he will trample down our enemies.

song

2011-07-01T10:11:00.001-07:00

need sleep ?

2011-07-01T08:58:00.000-07:00

okay.... NEED SLEEP ???

your teachers piling work on you ???

read this article... print it and pass it to you teacher...

we need it.

http://www.helpguide.org/life/sleeping.htm

it helps :D a lot :D

thoughts

2011-06-27T07:47:00.001-07:00

i miss hanging out with your guys.

Kennard.

Claire.

Jericho.

Jeth.

Wallace.

Joshua.

Glenn

just to name a few.

for some of you, i just wanna travel far with and have a "Holiday"

missions trip.

camping ?

hiking in the forest ?

SPCA.

star gazing.

so many things....

but now isnt the time to think of these things.

PRELIMS ARE KILLER.

but i'm gonna go thru it with you God.

you make it easier cuz my future's in your hands.

song

2011-06-27T07:43:00.001-07:00

song

2011-06-20T03:27:00.000-07:00

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

inspirational

2011-06-17T03:11:00.000-07:00

Note.

2011-06-16T09:39:00.000-07:00

Note to self:

After A levels. write your book !!!!!! :D

song

2011-06-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

Song

2011-06-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

Packed.

2011-06-13T08:13:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43uJpAIBmsI

ever feel like you life is just packed with stuff

some planned

some last minute ?

parallel everything this story has..

the heroic actions can be important things such as "saving the world" so to say.

everything just packs you...

Some stuff you don't really enjoy

and stuff you find not fruitful

like for me would be German.

doing coursework SUCKS !!

but i have to for 25% of my A levels :X

then there's Math revision (like all the heroic action)

i don't have much time to do it...

gasp...

see if i said i don't need Friends...

i'm wrong, the cartoon even showed friends who were there to support.

if i said i don't need God...

i'm dead wrong.

cuz i would have given up way long ago.

food for thought...

who created something from nothing ?

if creation was from something, what created that something ?

therefore, you have to agree that there is a God.

just what kind of God is he to you ?

i miss you

2011-06-08T10:16:00.001-07:00

God- "Child, I miss you."

Kudos for a very personal God :D

shirts

2011-06-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

I Found COOL SHIRTS !!! :D

http://www.theshirtdudes.com/featured/walks-beach.html

okay... maybe not the Singapore beach...

http://www.theshirtdudes.com/featured/vegetarians-awesome.html

i know someone who likes dinos :D

http://www.theshirtdudes.com/featured/zombie-apocalypse.html

This ! i want :D :D

the following are awesome TOO...i Want :D

http://www.theshirtdudes.com/featured/read-shirt.html

http://www.theshirtdudes.com/featured/pirate.html

http://www.theshirtdudes.com/featured/zombie-unit.html

http://www.theshirtdudes.com/featured/need-prayer.html

http://www.theshirtdudes.com/featured/team-awesome.html

http://www.theshirtdudes.com/featured/ninja-turtle.html

http://www.theshirtdudes.com/featured/oneman-wolf.html

random

2011-06-03T09:24:00.001-07:00

on a random note...

i'd like to come home to something huggable...

like a dog :D

soft, furry, happy, cheery...

Test

2011-06-02T06:59:00.000-07:00

Breathe in...

then out...

Math Stats test tomorrow...

i can do it...

i hope...

Rant

2011-06-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

Its June.

my schedule's packed.

i dunno i feel like i did this to myself.

30may- Extra Lit and German

31may- Extra German

1June- Supposed to do math (couldn't take it, went for walk)

2June- Choir, WFL, LG, Study for Math test?

3June- Math test. Extra German. Meet Ming Wei.

4June- Church.

5June- Kids Church, Friends. Kennard's Arrival.

6June- WFL & LG vs Kennard's day ?

7-8June- Choir Camp.

9June- WFL & LG vs Kennard's day ?

10June- Kennard's departure.

11June- Church.

12June-

13June-

14June-

15June- Booked.

16June-

17June-

18June-

19June-

20June-

21June-

22June-

23June-

24June-

25June-

26June-

27June-Prelim1

28June-

29June-Prelim1

30June-

1July- Prelim1

Is it time i cut my commitments ?

Why commit to something i can't guarantee my time for ?

Uh... Hell of day i'm going to have...

still gotta squeeze time to study stats...

Amazingly, studies has become a stronger priority in my life.

stronger than the people around me...

i don't like this me i'm becoming...

curse this JC life...

SINCE WHEN DID I HAVE DIFFICULTY SAYING YES TO YOUR KINGDOM ?!?!?!

apparently now...

i dislike studying.

i dislike the fact that whatever time i have is used up.

by everything i once deemed important.

by everything i once deemed unimportant.

i dislike me.

all my commitments require more commitment from me...

i got to say "no" to one eventually.

question is when am i going to do so ?

would it be selfish of me to say no ?

selfish because i'm thinking of myself ?

because i just can't take it anymore ?

because for me to do well in one area, i have to forgo another ?

i'd rather be a master of one.

than a jack of all but master of none.

and currently i really need to master my studies...

yet... it seems as though, i'm asked to be a jack of all trades.

Song

2011-05-31T23:01:00.001-07:00

i wish i could right ?

2011-05-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

Study Break.

Still packed with lots of stuff...

5-10th June,

my best friend (longest) is coming to Singapore.

Priority level : High.

7-8th June,

Choir Camp

Priority level : High

Study Break (28may~25June?)

1. Friends time

Priority level : High

2. Study & revision

Priority level : Lower than High.

BUT !!!

i still gotta clock 8 hours study every alternate day ?

or atleast 5 every day !!! :D

Just Give your best David...

Then after A levels,

freedom and friends and SPCA and travel :D

Song

2011-05-28T10:12:00.000-07:00

Song

2011-05-25T07:59:00.001-07:00

Song

2011-05-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

Love

2011-05-20T09:32:00.000-07:00

If you want Power, you must first care.

If you want Riches, you must first share.

If you want Love, you need not love first,

cuz God already Loved you first.

While we lived our lives placing him aside.

He sent his ONE and ONLY SON,

down to earth,

to heal the sick,

to welcome the unwelcomed,

to care for the ignored.

BUT

Most Importantly,

to die on the Cross for our Sins.

So that when we know him as friend and Saviour,

We are new creations,

people belonging to God.

Children of God.

and our rewards, are in heaven.

I believe this.

do you ?

Love

2011-05-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails.

Song

2011-05-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

2011-05-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

Matthew 6:21
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Luke 12:34
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also
Colossians 3:1
[ Living as Those Made Alive in Christ ] Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set yourhearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.

Word.

2011-05-17T15:40:00.001-07:00

Joshua 24:15 (New International Version)

¹⁵ But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

Song

2011-05-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

Song

2011-05-16T17:18:00.000-07:00

Thoughts.

2011-05-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

Homework...

and more

Homework...

But at least there are things i look forward to :D

Thoughts.

2011-05-15T01:25:00.002-07:00

Spent some time just listening to Disney classics... haha :D

okay... yea...

i know... i'm about to be 19,

and i'm listening to Disney, sue me...

But they're nice songs :D

Thoughts.

2011-05-13T10:22:00.001-07:00

I just decided to tell you my frustrations.

What do you do ?

A PEP talk..

oh wao ! i sure needed it eh ?

NO.

I just got even more irritated!

do you take me as stupid ?

yea right...

i OBVIOUSLY know what the right thing to do is.

why are you reiterating it to me ?

why can't you just listen to what i have to say ?

why tell me the things i should do, when obviously i would ?

Uh... I know what to do.

I just don't like it.

and if i can't tell you every time i'm not happy about something

without being told what i should do,

knowing that i know the right thing to do.

Then why should i tell you stuff now ?

We spoke, i told you i don't like it.

i didn't ask what i should do.

i just said i don't like to and don't want to.

i didn't ask what i ought to do.

UH.

yea, i got irritated.

probably still am.

but you're still my friend.

guess these are just those times that we end up having ?

Lucky

2011-05-12T08:55:00.000-07:00

I feel...

Lucky.

Travel

2011-05-09T09:32:00.000-07:00

Hey, i know.

lets travel.

to New Zealand.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/henchan/4298681504/

for stars ?

http://goscandinavia.about.com/od/knowledgesafety/p/auroraborealis.htm

http://fairbanks-alaska.com/northern-lights-alaska.htm

or the aurora borealis !! :D

or forests and waterfalls !! :D

Thoughts.

2011-05-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

Thoughts.

they're so hard to read.

every time i look at you,

i'd be thinking "what are you thinking?"

i wanna know.

I guess it's an Asian thing that our thoughts remain thoughts.

never expressed.

well...some times,

all i can say to you is,

i don't dare to...

i'm more of a silent observer than an active initiator.

more of a blow-things up and ask questions later than a peaceful interrogator.

i forgot why i wrote the above.

uh....yea...

Its a Choice

2011-05-09T05:04:00.001-07:00

been told many times before.

been reminded many times before.

Love is a Choice.

and thus, it is.

make that choice,

better keep it that way.

and i think i will :D

Happy

2011-05-07T22:31:00.000-07:00

You know what?

I feel

Song

2011-05-05T07:59:00.001-07:00

Flaws

2011-05-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

Flaws.

We all got them.

We're not God.

Not Omnipotent (all powerful).

Not Omniscient (all knowing)

Not Omnipresent (everywhere at any time)

One day, we will fail to live up to what we should be.

What do you do when that day comes ?

Song

2011-05-05T07:50:00.001-07:00

Word.

2011-05-03T08:51:00.000-07:00

¹³ “My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken me,
the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
broken cisterns that cannot hold water.

⁸ Love never fails.

Satiric

2011-05-03T08:33:00.000-07:00

Farcical view. Truth be told, its true

What did i say? moments...

2011-05-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

okay...

not gonna say much...

just thoughts...

did you ever had those

"Oh man... What did i say?" moments ?

or "Why did i say that?"

i guess...

i don't regret it.

but for now.

Focus. Studies.

gotta snap out of the positive shock.

Lets focus on our As this year.

We're gonna give our best, and support each other through all tough times.

We're not gonna get distracted :)

Thanks Friend :D

Day, Awesome

2011-04-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

Stayed in school for 8 hours.

"make the best of the situation no matter how much you hate it."

uh... easier said than done.

Anyways, spent time with my friend...

hours that seem to pass so quickly.

yet, still awesome.

Day conclusion: Awesome.

Thanks friend :D

say nothing

2011-04-26T23:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes,

Some things are just meant to be in your head.

Never to be articulated.

Right ?

Frustrated.

2011-04-26T08:05:00.000-07:00

ARGH...

i tripped and fell..

my eyes are scarred.

and i'm trying to forget.

scars don't heal fast.

or they don't heal at all..

I'm so stupid !

Its time to pick myself up.

I can do this.

though, i can't believe i fell over a shooting star.

hmmm, wonder how you can fall over a shooting star ?

logically, you can't...

argh...

Sorry that i'm imperfect :X

Song

2011-04-25T15:33:00.001-07:00

Thoughts.

2011-04-25T08:48:00.001-07:00

What risks do i run in my life ?

Is it Worth me trying to get them ?

Time.

Wasted if spent on the temporal.

Invested if spent on the eternal.

My time ?

I do enjoy with you people.

The smaller the group, the more enjoyable.

at least, thats for me.

Startled, but not really shocked.

Pleasant, but not something i should get used to.

I won't allow myself to.

Afraid that things end up down the wrong path.

Cuz how could things last ?

True Friendship is allowing your friend to stab you in the front.

True Friendship is stabbing your friend in the front.

Admit

2011-04-24T05:56:00.001-07:00

"Admit the wrongs you have done to a person, to the person themselves."

I did so...

but i feel so stupid now :X

Why did i do it in the first place ?

I should have acted, instead of let it be.

Sorry Friend(s) !! :X

What are we exactly?

2011-04-23T08:50:00.000-07:00

Black and White.

Right and Wrong.

then there's Grey?

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹ What do workers gain from their toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet^[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴ I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

¹⁵ Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account.^[b]

¹⁶ And I saw something else under the sun:

In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
in the place of justice—wickedness was there.

¹⁷ I said to myself,

“God will bring into judgment
both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time to judge every deed.”

¹⁸ I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. ¹⁹ Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath^[c]; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. ²⁰ All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. ²¹ Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”

²² So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?

initiative

2011-04-18T08:29:00.000-07:00

i guess... i wont admit it unless its true.

but so long as its false, i wont admit it.

ponder

2011-04-18T05:36:00.001-07:00

Ponder.

I put my arm around ya like i would around my sister.

but you're my friend.

What say you to this ?

Something society decided to say its "wrong"

Debatable ? ( if so, state your reasons )

Shall continue this post after some thought to it.

Running A Race

I don't know

Hunt Down

depression.

sunset shot

in the future

word

Better than i

Closer

Difficult

song

Still searching

Deserves.

song

Song

sigh

song

Positive

Meditate

OUT LOUD.

I'm Still Here.

miss

Well. this is awkward.

Forgiveness

struggle powerfully.

anger.

Dom's Death

Alfred Tennyson, Lord Tennyson

Maud

God. i've disobeyed.

Proverbs 25:20

Redeemer - Planetshakers

Escapist.

Till I See You

Choices

Point of difference.

song

Psalm 60:12

song

need sleep ?

thoughts

song

song

inspirational

Note.

song

Song

Packed.

i miss you

shirts

random

Test

Rant

Song

Song

Song

Song

Love

Love

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)

Song

Word.

Joshua 24:15 (New International Version)

Song

Song

Thoughts.

Thoughts.

Thoughts.

Lucky

Travel

Thoughts.

Its a Choice

Happy

Song

Flaws

Song

Word.

Jeremiah 2:13 (New International Version, ©2011)

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version, ©2011)

Satiric